The Status Update

I visited my buddy’s new born child this weekend, one of the most mature things I’ve ever had to do....

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 17:45:05 -0400

I visited my buddy’s new born child this weekend, one of the most mature things I’ve ever had to do. Thus, when asked by the couple “what have you been up to?” I decided against telling them I spent the morning delivering Dark Knight quotes to the mirror when, after brushing my teeth, I thought the toothpaste on my face resembled the Joker’s makeup.

4.4.12

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 14:34:00 -0400

Had a big meeting. Admin needed a photo of me for presentation. Called me “Manford” when she asked for it. Instead of being rude I just peppered my response with cues for my real name. Called my pic “Price’s pic.” Titled subject of email “Price’s info.” Signed off “Thanks, Price.” Included my signature that says “Price Manford.” Show up to meeting, listed as Manford Price.

Sample of life at 4G - Last night, 11.30p, roommate Cam whispers through my door “Hey,...

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 10:55:00 -0400

Sample of life at 4G - Last night, 11.30p, roommate Cam whispers through my door “Hey, don’t light a match or do anything with fire… I accidentally left the gas on tonight. Don’t worry, though, I put a fan in the kitchen.” Email from roommate Curt this morning, 9.11a: “Please don’t take the trash out today… I’m pretty sure I threw away my credit card. Thanks.”

This weekend a girl looked at my shoes and asked, in a rather condescending tone, “are you wearing...

Mon, 19 Apr 2010 15:14:27 -0400

This weekend a girl looked at my shoes and asked, in a rather condescending tone, “are you wearing those shoes that, like, work your legs out?” I looked at my Nikes http://www.pickyourshoes.com/collectible/nike_max1_skull.htm quite perplexed. “Work out my legs?” I repeated to myself. Turns out she had mistaken my limited edition Air Maxes for those Skecher’s “Shape-Ups” (skechers.com). I was so horrified I went straight home.

Sometimes I feel like people who tell terrible stories with terrible deliveries need a laugh track....

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 14:20:33 -0400

Sometimes I feel like people who tell terrible stories with terrible deliveries need a laugh track. Me? I think I’d like the stock audio track of a large audience of girls going “ooooooOOOOHHHH” every time I kiss a girl.

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 16:01:36 -0400

Came home from Houston this weekend to find that in a drunken stupor my roommate had replied to a...

Mon, 22 Mar 2010 11:05:32 -0400

Came home from Houston this weekend to find that in a drunken stupor my roommate had replied to a number of wedding invites. What’s the big deal, you ask? He decided to respond to invitations addressed to me. Looks like I’ll just have to guess which weddings I’m supposed to attend.

We share a building with some UBS financial types. While in the elevator down to lunch some suits...

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 14:06:16 -0400

We share a building with some UBS financial types. While in the elevator down to lunch some suits were talking about Duke. Thinking they were discussing the NCAA Tourney I attempted to join in the conversation. Turns out they were talking about recruiting new analysts from the Duke business school. I am a child.

http://pitchfork.com/news/38135-new-daft-punk-in-itron-legacyi-trailer/

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:31:17 -0500

http://pitchfork.com/news/38135-new-daft-punk-in-itron-legacyi-trailer/:

Tron Legacy has the makings to be the nerdiest movie of the century, and the score is done by Daft Punk! Listen to the end of this trailer, my earphones just exploded.

My mom is out of town so here is an “important” email I received from my dad today:...

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 14:23:15 -0500

My mom is out of town so here is an “important” email I received from my dad today: “are you going to be able to go to duane reed or other drugstore and get the ivory bath soap bars?” My assumption is after accepting an invitation for dinner this evening I have unknowingly accepted responsibility of making the Duane Reade run. Next email will be dry cleaning, no doubt.

Fess-up Friday — I’ve never seen any of the Godfathers, in lots of cases I prefer crappy...

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 10:39:20 -0500

Fess-up Friday — I’ve never seen any of the Godfathers, in lots of cases I prefer crappy punk band covers of classic songs than the real songs themselves, I frequently talk to myself out-loud, my first beer was a Lone Star and I spit most of it out even though I told my friends I drank it, I don’t know the first thing about cars, and I voted for the first time in this past presidential election.

Facebook, Gchat status, Twitter, YouTube, Loopt, Flickr, FourSquare, and now Google Buzz… even...

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 16:02:20 -0500

Facebook, Gchat status, Twitter, YouTube, Loopt, Flickr, FourSquare, and now Google Buzz… even I am struggling to come up with enough material for all this shit (by the way I’m eating an apple and listening to We Are Scientists and I probably have a funny youtube link I can send you).

(nasal voice) Dad: “when it gets dry outside my nose...

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 21:49:13 -0500

(nasal voice) Dad: “when it gets dry outside my nose bleeds. Do you know that? I have to lie down.”

Me: “you want a tissue or something?”

Dad: “i dont want to bleed on this couch. Wait where are my glasses? Did I leave them in the bathroom?”

Me: “you’re wearing them.”

Dad: “oh. I can’t see anything down here.”

I got to look at pictures of the inside of my esophagus and stomach today at the doctor. Turns out...

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 16:53:05 -0500

I got to look at pictures of the inside of my esophagus and stomach today at the doctor. Turns out even my stomach lining still has that boyish Manford charm. As a side note I will have another endoscopy, but the doctor was quick to reassure me in saying “Don’t worry Price, at least this time we know how much medicine it takes to knock you out.”

Last night my dad suggested I should shave because “you don’t want to look like one of...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:26:20 -0500

Last night my dad suggested I should shave because “you don’t want to look like one of these drug dealers I see on CSI-Miami.” I suppose I should be comforted he referenced a show that was at least relatively more contemporary than his normal go-to “The Closer,” which I’m confident is not watched voluntarily by anyone under the age of 40. It also should be noted it’s obvious now that my dad is pretty suspicious of anyone with facial hair.

For the love of god my name is PRICE. P R I C E. One syllable,...

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 13:28:23 -0500

For the love of god my name is PRICE. P R I C E. One syllable, five letters, in the dictionary. And believe it or not it’s my FIRST name.

Irritated that my Pandora was playing the band “Black Kids” yet again I complained out loud, but to...

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:36:37 -0500

Irritated that my Pandora was playing the band “Black Kids” yet again I complained out loud, but to no one in particular, “God dammit I HATE Black Kids!” The astonishment on my co-workers’ faces may well be worth my eventual dismissal.

Just when I thought I’d seen all the mistaken variations of my phenomenally simple name, I was...

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:59:55 -0500

Just when I thought I’d seen all the mistaken variations of my phenomenally simple name, I was greeted by security at my meeting this morning with a nametag that read “Price Manfore.” Thankfully things were back to normal a couple hours later when I received a confirmation email addressed as “Hello Manford,…”

Is there a more reliable means of information than the Captivate TV screens in office elevators? Why...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 21:30:15 -0500

Is there a more reliable means of information than the Captivate TV screens in office elevators? Why do they seem so trustworthy? I could get in on floor one, read that Michael Jackson rose from the dead and is redoing his Thriller video as a reality show and I’d be like “Wow, that’s amazing. What an entertainer!” and not even think twice.

This morning after being referred to via phone as “Price Manfred” (keeping in mind my...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:42:34 -0500

This morning after being referred to via phone as “Price Manfred” (keeping in mind my full name appears on caller ID), I noticed an email chain that refers to me as a “she”— the author asking various folks to get “her” what “she” needs. I guess I should be happy both mistakes at least got the order of my name correct, but still.