I visited my buddy’s new born child this weekend, one of the most mature things I’ve ever had to do. Thus, when asked by the couple “what have you been up to?” I decided against telling them I spent the morning delivering Dark Knight quotes to the mirror when, after brushing my teeth, I thought the toothpaste on my face resembled the Joker’s makeup.
Had a big meeting. Admin needed a photo of me for presentation. Called me “Manford” when she asked for it. Instead of being rude I just peppered my response with cues for my real name. Called my pic “Price’s pic.” Titled subject of email “Price’s info.” Signed off “Thanks, Price.” Included my signature that says “Price Manford.” Show up to meeting, listed as Manford Price.
Sample of life at 4G - Last night, 11.30p, roommate Cam whispers through my door “Hey, don’t light a match or do anything with fire… I accidentally left the gas on tonight. Don’t worry, though, I put a fan in the kitchen.” Email from roommate Curt this morning, 9.11a: “Please don’t take the trash out today… I’m pretty sure I threw away my credit card. Thanks.”
This weekend a girl looked at my shoes and asked, in a rather condescending tone, “are you wearing those shoes that, like, work your legs out?” I looked at my Nikes http://www.pickyourshoes.com/collectible/nike_max1_skull.htm quite perplexed. “Work out my legs?” I repeated to myself. Turns out she had mistaken my limited edition Air Maxes for those Skecher’s “Shape-Ups” (skechers.com). I was so horrified I went straight home.
Sometimes I feel like people who tell terrible stories with terrible deliveries need a laugh track. Me? I think I’d like the stock audio track of a large audience of girls going “ooooooOOOOHHHH” every time I kiss a girl.
Came home from Houston this weekend to find that in a drunken stupor my roommate had replied to a number of wedding invites. What’s the big deal, you ask? He decided to respond to invitations addressed to me. Looks like I’ll just have to guess which weddings I’m supposed to attend.
We share a building with some UBS financial types. While in the elevator down to lunch some suits were talking about Duke. Thinking they were discussing the NCAA Tourney I attempted to join in the conversation. Turns out they were talking about recruiting new analysts from the Duke business school. I am a child.
My mom is out of town so here is an “important” email I received from my dad today: “are you going to be able to go to duane reed or other drugstore and get the ivory bath soap bars?” My assumption is after accepting an invitation for dinner this evening I have unknowingly accepted responsibility of making the Duane Reade run. Next email will be dry cleaning, no doubt.